depression

Ben Cousins reveals his battle with depression | Celebrity | News.com.au

* Cousins says he has battled depression
* "Couldn't leave the house"
* The Punch: Secret golf shame

BEN Cousins has revealed how he spiralled into depression after being told none of the 16 AFL clubs wanted him in the national draft.

The former Eagles star said he imprisoned himself in his house, refusing to speak to even his parents.

“I'm not a depressive person, but it was a state of depression,” Cousins told GQ Australia magazine.

“I had the life sucked out of me. I didn't feel like leaving the house.

“I slept a lot, I didn't talk to anyone. I wasn't on the phone to my parents or my mates. I just shut everything out.

“The process itself of getting me back to footy probably made me as vulnerable as I've ever been.

“That's the point that everyone has missed. The process itself was so counter-productive to what I was trying to achieve.

“I'd been given 12 months off, left to my own devices.

“The whole thing I wanted about getting back to playing footy was to give me the foundation that I needed. If I was in a perfect state of mind, I could have gone on and done anything, but I wasn't.”
Related Coverage

* The Punch: Pollies' golf shame
* Ben shattered, vows to returnPerth Now, 27 Mar 2009
* Ben's big breakNEWS.com.au, 10 Jan 2009
* Standing by Ben CousinsCourier Mail, 21 Dec 2008
* I know Venditti - CousinsHerald Sun, 17 Dec 2008
* Tiger fans back CousinsAdelaide Now, 16 Dec 2008


Being overlooked in the November 29 draft was a wake-up call for Cousins.

Realising that the following pre-season draft was his last chance to extend his AFL career, he met AFL legend Kevin Sheedy to discuss the road back to football. He had talks with Richmond and convinced the club he was a chance worth taking.

Cousins, who starred in 238 games with West Coast, will today play his 250th, for the Tigers against the Swans at the MCG. He is scheduled to play against the Eagles on Friday, August 28.

“I wasn't born a great footballer. I've worked as hard as anyone I know my age,” he said.

Off the field, Cousins admits he continues to face his demons.

He says he watches what he drinks and is careful not to do anything that will put him on the path to destruction.

“I have to be careful with that sort of stuff (drinking),” he said. “I'm on a pretty strict regime.

“I can't afford to slip up, and enjoying the occasional drink is something I look forward to do. It's all in moderation.”

Cousins said drugs did not discriminate: “People from all walks of life can find themselves in trouble and strife, or mixed up with drugs. There's no right or wrong formula.”

Asked if his demons had left him, Cousins replied: “I'm not naive enough to think that I can just wash my hands of where I've come from and it's all in the past. The harsh reality is it's a struggle.”

Despite the tribulations of the past few years Cousins still showed a sense of humour during the interview and fashion shoot.

“Don't put me in an Elwood shirt. Every time I wear one of those I get arrested,” he quipped.