Breastfeeding can kill you

Breastfeeding debate revived after death of British mother Katy Isden | Health & Lifestyle | News.com.au

T was anything but the Hallmark moment she had been expecting.

Sitting among the flowers and cards, clutching her first-born child, my sister Lia could do nothing but sob.

Left alone in her hospital room and attempting to breastfeed her new daughter for the first time on her own, she felt her anxiety skyrocket, the mother guilt take over.

A broken emergency buzzer didn't help, nor post-birth hormones and lack of sleep.

But almost two hours after she'd begun trying to attach her baby's small mouth to her painfully engorged breasts, my niece was screaming and so was her struggling mum.

So consumed by getting it right and worked into a frenzy by the ordeal, it's still not clear exactly when it was that Lia lost control of the muscles on one side of her face.

Within hours doctors diagnosed her with Bell's Palsy, a paralysis of the facial muscles which some believe is triggered by environmental, emotional or physical stress.

In this case, the stress of feeding her child.

Instead of enjoying what was meant to be the happiest time in her life, my beautiful sister was left feeling like a failure and believing herself the Elephant Man.

Her experiences with the births of her next two children were equally traumatic, marred by a recurrent sense of inadequacy and in the case of her third, mastitis so bad she was forced to temporarily relinquish care of her family to seek medical help.

News, then, of the death of 30-year-old British mother Katy Isden, who fell to her death from a New York apartment block after becoming depressed over her bid to breastfeed, should well shock the world but will not surprise mothers with tales like my sister's.

"I'm surprised there are not more mothers like this poor woman," Lia said yesterday.

"The pressure to breastfeed, the anxiety to be this super person, is just no way to live."

The coroner said that although Mrs Isden had been depressed when she died, it was not clear if she fell or jumped. He therefore recorded an open verdict.

Meanwhile, the issue of breastfeeding rages once more.

The research about the benefits of feeding babies "naturally" - delivering vital nutrients and a bond between mother and child - appears black and white.

But for many it's anything but a natural experience; rather a grey area of conflicting advice and a trauma that can torture women.

While some advocacy groups stand accused of adding to the anxiety in the battle between breast or bottle, there is no doubt support is the key to relieving the pressure.

Extra funding for the Australian Breastfeeding Association's national helpline resulted in a 30 per cent increase in those seeking help since March, with more than 28,328 calls taken between October and April.

Carey Wood, a mother of four and ABA volunteer for 10 years, endorses breastfeeding as a valuable "learned skill" but says there's much more to mothering.

"So many of us have issues," she said. "This is a matter of seeking assistance, not being left to feel like a failure.

"The solution is for the community to get behind mothers rather than patronising them with the 'breast is best' slogan. It's what's best for you and your baby that counts, not breastfeeding at any cost."