How do you cope?

How do you cope? You need to take a deep breath for a start and realise that while it seems like the earth is crashing down around your ears, this really is not the end of the world. Certainly it is not worth ending your life.

At certain times we all encounter stressful and difficult situations. While we are in them we feel completely overwhelmed. And helpless. The important thing is to try to get some perspective so you are able to see that even if the worst of the worst occurs you will still be ok.

I think for a start you need to get up from your computer. Sometimes when we are engrossed in a crisis we get obsessive. You might be surfing real estate sites over and over when you know deep down there's nothing new to look at. Getting lost in this is not helpful. You need to be able to pull back and know you have done the best you can do for the moment to find the right place and now it's time to go for a walk or see a movie or have coffee with a friend.

Another tactic to see yourself through this period is to grant yourself worry time. Tell yourself that once an hour, on the hour, you will worry for five minutes about your house situation. If you find yourself worrying at other times you must stop immediately and do something else. If you miss the 1pm, 2pm, 3pm etc worry timeslot then you must wait for the next hour. No cheating.

It's important to realise that much of what's going on in your head isn't real. It's just panicked and catastrophic thinking. I don't want to underestimate what you are going through. Moving house or having house dramas are up there with other high stress situations like losing a loved one, personal sickness and losing a job. Yet we both know your thoughts are overblown in some respects about this matter, so you need to talk yourself down a little. You can do this by refusing to entertain the catatrophic thoughts. These usually just link up and create other catastrophic thoughts. It's like a chain reaction.

When you catch yourself thinking these thoughts, you must simply stop and busy yourself with something else. Tell yourself you'll worry about it in worry time.

On a more practical note I wouldn't worry too much about the lease you have on this new place. This is not the purchase of a multimillion dollar home. A lease can be broken without breaking you financially. You must only compensate the landlord for money lost while awaiting a new tenant and for the cost of reletting. In this current rental squeeze you could pretty much guarantee a quick turn over.

Try to be positive, if you can. And think about why it worries you so much to have to put your things in storage. We tend to get very attached to stuff and the reasons can be complex. Usually though "stuff" provides a buffer for us, a sense of protection or security from the big wide world.

Lastly, know this is not forever. Think of it like riding wave. Or riding the roller coaster at the Easter Show. In a few weeks this whole thing will be sorted and you will have the energy to decide what you are going to do.  You can do this. Tell yourself you can. This is what all those great man-against-the-odds movies are about - standing up and fighting when the chips are down. I'll be very cross with you if you don't put your head down and fight your way through this one. And you don't want that. (from : Kate Britto)