Happy Christmas

Dear madam, you are an idiot … - Miranda Devine - Opinion - smh.com.au

In a year of Sarah Palin, Bill Henson, Madonna, kangaroos, speed cameras and Helen Clark's teeth, reader missives seemed to mellow. An inordinate number were prefaced with: "I usually don't agree with Miranda Devine but …"

I must be losing my touch. Then again, it may have something to so do with Hotmail's handy spam filters.

But there's always Kevin, from Nambucca Heads, to spice up my inbox. "Fleabrain!" he wrote, in response to a column on Kevin Rudd's Christmas cash handout. "Typical Jewish garbage. The GFC was caused by your fellow 'hooked-nosed' leeches." Nice.

Peter thought a column on the psychiatric dangers of cannabis was "one of your most ridiculous. One is tempted to think that you have been hitting the bottle or the bong, or both, too heavily before writing it."

Poor Olivia Newton-John became collateral damage after a column on Madonna's anti-ageing efforts.

"I am not a fan of Madonna," wrote Rohan, "but at least she has a good surgeon. Olivia, on the other hand, looks rather kabuki."

Stewart asked: "Have you seen a picture of Olivia recently? She has a mouth like the Joker."

"Are you blind?" asked Eran. "Olivia Newton-John is turning into Jocelyn Wildenstein," wrote J.

OK, OK, I get the picture.

A column on the US Republican Sarah Palin inflamed passions: "If you think Palin would ever be fit to be president then you are a bigger self-deluded fool than I thought, Miss spoilt rich bitch Devine," wrote Sully.

Nancy from North Carolina was incensed when I wrote about Hillary Clinton: "How dare you. Who are you?"

"Hillary is not losing - she is winning," wrote Steven. "You are out of the loop and when she becomes our next president you'll be the one looking foolish."

A column mocking the suggestion from Ross Garnaut that we eat kangaroo instead of beef drew helpful culinary advice from readers.

"Dark, chewy, gamey and smelly indeed! Have you ever tasted roo fillet which has been marinated overnight in a decent red and grilled lightly? It would change your mind!" wrote Ron.

"For an excellent example of kangaroo meat, try Chez Pascal restaurant on Rocky Point Road in Ramsgate," wrote Ian from London: "Philippe usually serves it with a red wine sauce."

Tom invited me to "come over for a plate of kangaroo lasagna - guaranteed as tasty as the lamb version, at a fraction of the environmental cost".

A column on anti-meat activists had a transformative effect on Richard: "Just thought I'd let you know that your little diatribe has prompted me to actively take up vegetarianism."

Who said I do nothing for the planet.

Speaking of which, Gaia freaks flung their shoes every time I wrote about global warming.

"Don't think that because your article is rated number one online that it is some brilliant piece," wrote James. "People click on it to see what piece of s--t you've come up with this time."

The Mayor of Mount Isa's invitation to ugly women to redress the glut of males in his town drew much ire, but Emily was inspired: "I am a 28-year-old single woman in Sydney and I have enjoyed every conversation since Mount Isa was put on the map!! From a British girl's point of view, Aussie guys … despite their 'blokey' reputation, [are] too soft to approach a girl in a bar and start a conversation."

Sydney's alleged bachelor drought had Joseph protesting: "I'm a fit, 24-year-old professional, with OK looks and a sane personality. Could you please tell me where this pool of eligible women flock to on Saturday nights, because clearly I have my head in the dirt and can only find worms."

Joseph, meet Emily.

A column on the HSC English curriculum sparked furious agreement from teachers and parents.

"As an experienced English teacher, I am appalled at the time … wasted on studying adverts, films, magazines, posters, pop songs, soap operas … instead of literature and the fundamentals of expression," wrote M.

"If you destroy peoples' language, you destroy their freedom," Ilija wrote. "This is at the heart of the politically correct pseudo-culture which the English Teachers Association pushes on to our children."

Recent HSC graduate Eli proved more than he knew when he wrote in defence of the English curriculum: "[It] forces the teachers, not just the students, to think beyond they're [sic] boundaries."

A column on Germaine Greer's rage prompted Max to write: "All expats should be banned from returning after 20 years."

Matt was no kinder: "In exposing Germaine for what she is, I feel like you've scratched an itch I have been unable to reach for years. Phew … that feels great."

But from Gill: "Isn't she devilishly fun … and wonderfully stimulating."

Speed cameras and demerit points were hot topics: "We are making criminals out of good honest citizens," wrote James.

"I am very close to losing my licence with 9 points," wrote Sergio. "[So] I am driving in the slow lane, sometimes more than 10km under the limit. What else can I do?"

An article on the vanishing virtue of humility struck a chord. "After working in academia and the financial markets for 15 years, I can't get over how arrogant and self-assured our society has become," wrote Charles.

But from Craig came this: "How ironic … that you write an article deriding pride and ego, when you are a professional opinion columnist!"

Thanks for all the emails, and have a happy Christmas.