Top five regrets of the dying

via: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

Merkel on Circumcision

via Reuters

BERLIN (Reuters) - Chancellor Angela Merkel has warned that Germany could become a laughing stock if it fails to overturn a district court ban on circumcision that has enraged Jews and Muslims.

Merkel's government has already criticized the Cologne court ruling and promised a new law to protect the right to circumcise male infants, but the conservative leader's strong comments underline how sensitive Germany is to charges of intolerance because of its Nazi past.

"I do not want Germany to be the only country in the world where Jews cannot practice their rituals. Otherwise we will become a laughing stock," the Bild daily quoted Merkel as telling a closed meeting of her Christian Democrats (CDU).

Joerg van Essen, parliamentary floor leader of Merkel's junior coalition partner the Free Democrats, told the Financial Times Deutschland newspaper that the new law would be introduced in the autumn.

The Cologne court, ruling in the case of a Muslim boy who suffered bleeding after circumcision, said the practice inflicts bodily harm and should not be carried out on young boys but could be practiced on older males who give consent.

This is not acceptable under Jewish religious practice which requires boys to be circumcised from eight days old, nor for many Muslims, for whom the age of circumcision varies according to family, country and branch of Islam.

Jewish and Muslim groups have branded the court ruling an attack on their religious freedom and Jewish leaders say it could even threaten the continued existence of their community in Germany - a disturbing claim for a country still haunted by the Nazis' murder of six million European Jews in the Holocaust.

But the court ruling has drawn support from some, including Britain's Secular Medical Forum which has written to Merkel urging her to resist pressure to make non-consensual circumcision lawful.

"EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL"

"We are shocked that religious groups deny the harm (caused by circumcision) and at the distorted and disingenuous claims made by those opposing the court's decision, wrongly suggesting that it is an indication of anti-Semitism," the chairman of the Secular Medical Forum, Dr. Antony Lempert, said in the letter.

"We urge you not to let such emotional blackmail persuade you to change the law or criticize the court's decision. As it stands, the court's decision ensures that today's children will be free to grow up to make their own decisions," it said.

Echoing such comments, Ronald Goldman, head of the U.S.-based Jewish Circumcision Resource Center which opposes the practice, cited studies he said show that circumcision causes considerable pain and trauma.

"The majority of the world does not circumcise because of an instinctive awareness of the harm, analogous to cutting off any other healthy body part," it said in a statement entitled "The German Circumcision Ruling: What about the harm to the child?"

The German court ruling applies only to the city of Cologne and its environs - home to a large Muslim minority - but Jewish and Muslim groups fear it could set a precedent and the ban could spread to other parts of Germany.

German doctors have also urged politicians to act to clarify the legal situation, fearing the ruling may force circumcisions underground and increase health risks for young boys.

Germany is home to about 120,000 Jews and some four million Muslims, many from Turkey which has criticized the court ruling.

(Editing by Myra MacDonald)

When you can borrow at a rate below inflation, you're borrowing for free

http://news.yahoo.com/utah-man-uses-obituary-confess-indiscretions-040642367.html?_esi=1

Billionaire Mark Zuckerberg is giving new meaning to the term "the one percent."

The Facebook Inc. (FB) founder refinanced a $5.95 million mortgage on his Palo Alto, California, home with a 30-year adjustable-rate loan starting at 1.05 percent, according to public records for the property.

While almost all lending rates have reached historical lows this year, the borrowing costs available to high-net-worth individuals are even lower if the person is willing to bear the risk of monthly interest rate adjustments, said Greg McBride, senior financial analyst with Bankrate Inc., a North Palm Beach, Florida-based firm that tracks interest rates. Large increases are unlikely anytime soon with the Federal Reserve signaling it will keep interest rates near zero for at least two years.

"When you can borrow at a rate below inflation, you're borrowing for free," McBride said in an e-mail. "This is the concept of using other people's money and it preserves financial flexibility for the borrower."

[Click here to check home loan rates in your area.]

"The one percent" is a phrase popularized last year by the Occupy Wall Street movement to protest growing U.S. income inequality. The top one percent of Americans earns a fifth of the country's income and controls more than a third of its wealth, according to Joseph E. Stiglitz, a Nobel Prize-winning economist, whose book "The Price of Inequality," was published last month.

The average rate on a one-year adjustable mortgage was 2.69 percent on July 12, up from a record low 2.68 percent a week earlier, according to Freddie Mac, the McLean, Virginia-based mortgage-finance company. The average rate for a 30-year fixed loan fell to a record low 3.56 percent on July 12. Freddie Mac doesn't survey rates for loans that adjust monthly.

World's Wealthiest

Zuckerberg, 28, is the world's 40th wealthiest person, with a net worth of $15.7 billion, according to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index. His company went public in a $16 billion initial public offering in May. The shares were down 19 percent since trading began as of July 13.

Facebook spokesman Larry Yu declined to comment on Zuckerberg's mortgage.

"We're not going to get into the personal finances of executives," he said in an e-mail.

The Palo Alto house cost $7 million in March of last year, purchased in the name of a limited liability company, according to a deed filed with the Santa Clara County Clerk-Recorder.

Zuckerberg's address was published by Palo Alto Online and Burbed.com, a Silicon Valley real estate blog. Three neighbors reached by phone at their homes said Zuckerberg lives at the address. They asked that their names not be used because of concerns for their privacy.

Page, Jobs

The five-bedroom, 5-1/2-bath house was built in 1903 on a 9,011 square-foot (837 square-meter) lot, according to Redfin Corp. The two-floor white wood-sided home is ensconced behind a gated drive and a wall of groomed shrubbery, about three miles (4.8 kilometers) from Stanford University and three miles from Facebook's Menlo Park headquarters. Zuckerberg was married to Priscilla Chan in the backyard on May 19.

Homes in Zuckerberg's ZIP code, 94301, sold for a median $1.875 million, or $968 a square foot, in June, up 1.7 percent from a year earlier, according to Redfin. Google Inc. co-founder Larry Page owns a home in 94301 and the late Apple Inc. founder Steve Jobs also lived there.

'Huge Run up'

"There was a huge run up before the Facebook IPO and it cooled off after the Facebook fizzle," Ken DeLeon, a Palo Alto real estate broker, said about local home prices.

First Republic Bank (FRC), which provided Zuckerberg's mortgage, doesn't comment on specific loans or clients, said Greg Berardi, a spokesman for the San Francisco-based company.

"First Republic, like most banks, prices its credit products based on the strength and totality of the entire client relationship," he said in an e-mailed statement. "This is our approach with all of our clients."

The bank's high-net-worth customers include Stephen Ross, the chairman of developer Related Cos.; Peter Thiel, the chairman of hedge fund Clarium Capital LLC and an early Facebook investor; and former New York Police Chief William Bratton, the current chairman of Kroll Inc., according to First Republic's website.

Wealthy individuals who have a lot of business with a bank may be eligible for the best rates, said Rob Kricena, a regional managing director at Wells Fargo Private Bank, which has technology entrepreneurs as clients in the San Francisco Bay area.

Favorable Terms

"In our experience the majority of high-net-worth individuals do have a mortgage," he said. In many cases, they can get favorable terms because of their wealth.

Zuckerberg's 30-year mortgage started with an initial rate in May of 1.05 percent, which also is the minimum rate for the loan, according to a document filed with the Santa Clara County Clerk-Recorder's Office. It adjusts each month starting in June with interest payments calculated as the London Interbank Offered Rate, or Libor, plus 0.8 percentage point. The maximum rate cannot exceed 9.95 percent.

Monthly principal and interest mortgage payments on the $5.95 million loan would start at $19,275.

The Fed has kept its main interest rate at zero to 0.25 percent since December 2008 and has said it will probably keep rates "exceptionally low" at least through late 2014. The central bank last month extended a program called Operation Twist aimed at lowering long-term interest rates by swapping shorter-term securities with the same amount of longer-term debt.

Morgan Stanley

Zuckerberg's latest mortgage replaces an adjustable-rate loan from Morgan Stanley (MS) recorded in June 2011 that started with a 1.75 percent rate, which would've had a monthly payment of $21,256. Zuckerberg got the loan at the same time Morgan Stanley was seeking to lead manage Facebook's initial public offering, which it won earlier this year.

Christine Pollak, a spokeswoman for New York-based Morgan Stanley, declined to comment.

The mortgages were signed by Tom Van Loben Sels, a partner at Apercen Partners LLC, a Palo Alto tax consulting firm for high net worth clients. Van Loben Sels didn't reply to a phone message seeking comment.

Banks like to provide home loans to high-net-worth clients because they can pay off the loan quickly, if needed, and are better credit risks, said Sandi Bragar, director of planning at San Francisco wealth manager Aspiriant. Her firm recommends variable, interest-only loans in many cases because of the tax deductibility of mortgage-debt payments and the adjustable rate, which places the rate risk on the borrower and generally makes the loan cheaper, she said.

Low-Cost Debt

Wealthy individuals often choose to finance a home purchase rather than pay cash because of the overall low cost of mortgage debt and the additional access to liquidity, Kricena said. In many cases, they invest excess cash that they would have used to purchase the home into higher-yielding assets, he said.

"Even if someone would be able to pay off that mortgage with cash or other assets, they don't want to tie up their holdings in real estate because they may have access to other types of more attractive investments," he said.

Still, in the current environment of tight underwriting, it can be difficult to navigate the process for even the wealthiest borrowers, Bragar said in a phone interview.

"Getting a mortgage these days is very tricky even for the wealthiest," she said. "They are by no means exempt."

DeLeon, the Palo Alto real estate broker, said adjustable rates below 2 percent have become common for high-net-worth borrowers. He has handled about 65 sales worth $120 million this year in the area.

"I have a 1.8 percent rate and I'm not too special," he said in a telephone interview. "A lot of my tech clients are doing it. Those rates exist for clients who don't need a mortgage. I tell them to enjoy the free money and pay it off when the rates spike up."

To contact the reporters on this story: John Gittelsohn in Los Angeles at johngitt@bloomberg.net; Dakin Campbell in San Francisco at dcampbell27@bloomberg.net

To contact the editors responsible for this story: Kara Wetzel at kwetzel@bloomberg.net; Rob Urban at robprag@bloomberg.net

WARNING: Working too many weeks without a vacation is going to kill you.Seriously, you are going to die from it

via CNN http://edition.cnn.com/2012/07/13/opinion/obeidallah-vacation-health/index.html

"not taking vacations is linked to health problems. And if people skip vacations, there's a chance that they may die younger than those who don't"

Editor's note: Dean Obeidallah, a former attorney, is a political comedian and frequent commentator on various TV networks including CNN. He is the editor of the politics blog "The Dean's Report" and co-director of the upcoming documentary, "The Muslims Are Coming!" Follow him on Twitter: @deanofcomedy

(CNN) -- "I guess you want to have a heart attack?"

That is the question you should ask yourself every time you put off taking a vacation.

Here's the deal. Studies have shown that not taking vacations is linked to health problems. And if people skip vacations, there's a chance that they may die younger than those who don't.

Dean Obeidallah

I think employers should be required to post warning labels in the workplace similar to those on cigarettes packs. I'd love to see a big sign in the break room that reads: "WARNING: Working too many weeks without a vacation is going to kill you. Seriously, you are going to die from it."

We are all well aware that stress is harmful to our health. It causes problems ranging from ulcers to body aches to insomnia. Vacations are one of the major antidotes to stress.

Travel: Relax, it's only a vacation

One study found that men at high risk for coronary heart disease, and who failed to take annual vacations, were 32% more susceptible to dying from a heart attack.

Another study compared women who vacationed at least twice a year to those who took one every six years or less. Astoundingly, the women who did not vacation annually were almost eight times more likely to develop coronary heart disease or have a heart attack.

As a nation, we are obsessed with work. Some view taking a vacation as a sign of weakness. Others who haven't vacationed in years see it as a badge of honor. And still others apologize for taking a vacation, as they feel guilty for taking time off even though they have earned it.

The average American worker has 14 vacation days per year, but most only use 12 of those days. Worse than that, about 25% of Americans don't take any vacation at all. The U.S. is the only industrialized nation in the world that does not legally require workers to be provided a set number of paid vacation days.

This is in stark contrast to Europe where the European Union mandates that workers be provided with 20 paid vacation days every year. Anyone wants to guess which place has higher life expectancy: U.S. or Europe? European countries win, of course. In fact, the U.S. is 28th in the world in life expectancy.

If saving your life isn't enough of a reason to take a few vacations, here is another: People who take annual vacations are more productive.

A 2010 study found that 35% of Americans feel better about their job and are more productive after a vacation. Vacations have been found to help us recharge -- we sleep better during them and for a period of time afterwards. And our brain responses become quicker after vacations.

As difficult as it is for some to believe, working more hours does not necessarily translate to a better bottom line or higher productivity. For example, Greeks work the most in Europe -- averaging 2,017 hours per year. Yet, they are no better off as their economy is a wreck.

Now take a look at Germany -- Europe's economic powerhouse. I'm sure some would guess that the Germans work longer hours. Wrong. Germans work on average 1,408 hours per year, placing them second to last among the 25 European nations in hours worked annually. They also receive on average 30 paid vacation days a year -- the most in Europe.

A vacation doesn't have to be two weeks on the French Riviera. It can be a trip to the Jersey shore -- the real one, not the one with Snooki and Mike "the Situation." It could be a camping expedition or a few days in the mountains.  The point is -- it could be as adventurous or low key as you want it to be.

I have seen first hand the consequence of not taking regular vacations. My father -- the workaholic -- hated vacations. He refused to take them on annual basis. Sadly, he passed away some years ago after his third open heart surgery at a much younger age than his peers. There's no doubt that stress reduction -- such as yearly vacations -- could have extended his life.

Travel: Readers share vacation planning tactics

So if you're thinking of skipping your vacation, it's not too late to change your mind. The summer just started. You'll feel better rested, healthier and more productive.

Or, you can choose to keep working non-stop like a hamster running on a wheel that keeps going faster and faster. Until, finally, one day, you collapse, are carried off on a stretcher, and replaced by a similar looking creature.

What's it going to be?

Follow us on Twitter @CNNOpinion

Lowongan CPNS Kemenkeu 2012

dead line 29 July 2012

more here : http://rekrutmen.depkeu.go.id/